The World Goes to Hell and it's All My Fault
by King Bradley III
Summary: Toro Fujio finds life to be stupid yet simple...until she finds out she's to be the next boss of the Bovino family. Then things get weird. Especially when you have a demon in an infant's body straight from Germany as a tutor. "Ahahahaha! There's no greater shame for the Bovino than this idiot!"


I don't own KHR.

**Would the idiot ever learn?****  
**_-Perhaps. Even the stubborn bull has a shot at glory.__  
_-

Staring at the remnants of singed blanket, crispy feathers from a now torn pillow, and melted metal, I realized that it all used to make up my bed.

My dismantled, burning, done-for bed demolished by the devil in the infant body standing atop the thankfully untouched but messy desk.

I was, understandably, completely speechless at what had just transpired.

Before the evil infant had decided to send my bed up in flames for some unknown reason he called "training", I was simply dragging the standard winter Namimori school uniform sweater over my head all while trying to shove my foot in the proper dress shoe that went with the outfit, a typical morning for me, who usually always woke up late.

But then my "tutor" just had to send my morning to hell by pulling some crazy stunt. This crazy stunt just happened to involve fire, and my poor innocent bed.

"Roooogue!" I moaned, gripping my long curly brown hair in both of my fingers tightly before tugging harshly. I had been doing that a lot lately, and I'd probably go bald before the school year ended. Not really something I looked forward to, but with someone like Rogue lurking about, pretty much anything was possible. And he'd only been here for a day now.

But at least I wasn't in the bed, for I doubt he'd reconsider blowing the bed up even if I had been snoring away in it and not on the floor after he so graciously took my precious sleeping space. "My Dad's gonna kill me for this!"

There was a slight breeze, and the little beast that caused all of this mess was standing next to me, completely dwarfed by my 5"5. Blond hair was completely unruffled as it fell into cold and unreadable dark brown eyes that reminded me of a predator despite his tiny body. "Papà will not have to worry, I will have it replaced." The infant spoke smoothly and with a slight German lilt.

I wondered if the fact that he was German* had something to do with his Spartan training. "That's nice and all, but...uhh...why did you set my bed on fire?" I cried, giving another hard tug on my abused hair.

"Because it was uncomfortable and it felt like I was sleeping on a rock," Came the nonchalant reply. "The World's Greatest Detective should be sleeping on first class comfort and luxury. That is why I have already imported a bed from Switzerland. It will be here in a day."

"Switzerland?" Okay, now this was getting absurd. First this weird little "detective" walks into my house like he owns the place, claiming to come here to whip my sorry ass into shape to become a boss, wins over my cross dressing father all within a day. Then he sets fire to my bed and claims to have ordered another one all the way from Switzerland.

Just dandy.

"Idiot Toro," A small voice with demonic undertones pierced my bitter train of thought, followed up by a tug on my pants. "aren't you going to be late for school?"

I glanced casually at the time. 7:15, and school started at 7:30. Well shit.

I was was a wild mess as I struggled to throw on the rest of my clothes, namely the male's uniform pants (I had begged the principal for two days straight to let me wear them instead of those evil skirts).

Shoving whatever papers would fit in my school bag, I hurried out of my room and towards the stairs.

Second mistake of the day, because stairs and I never got along. At all.

So maybe that's why I tripped on the first step and went sliding down the rest of the way, landing in a stunned heap at the bottom of the accursed stairs. I groaned. Minus the bed bursting into flames and evil demon infant, this morning has actually been pretty normal. I was almost never was on time to school anyways, and that was probably part of the reason I had a disgraceful average of thirty-three percent.

The other part was because I was a lazy, no-good slacker that preferred sleep instead of trying to learn, and never even attempted to try the homework, hence why I was the dead last of class. Maybe even the entire ninth grade. Oh well.

Pushing myself up, I rubbed my throbbing red face painfully. Luckily it hurt less than the time I tripped and face planted straight into the coffee table. That still had my Dad's forgotten coffee on it, but it thankfully wasn't hot.

Needless to say, I spent the afternoon cleaning before my father returned home from work. Not my favorite activity ever.

"What good are you if you can't even walk down some stairs properly?" A childish yet deadly tone rang in my ears as I slunk out the door.

My eyebrow twitched. "Shut up, it's just some stupid stairs." I really was not in the mood for this...thing's evil antics. It was bad enough he was pretty much living in my house and my parent approved of it. What's next? Hobos inhabiting the closets? From the way things were turning out now, I could probably count on it.

I ignored the odd looks I received as I trudged down the sidewalk towards the hell that was Namimori with a baby in a white coat lined with what he claimed was from the fur of a rare Alaskan Wolf he fought. I didn't believe him, of course.

The school was pretty normal, although I heard people talking about how there used to be some pretty crazy people that had once gone there.

Namely a famous baseball star whose name escaped at the moment, a kid that excelled in his studies but was a total delinquent, and a boy thought to be an idiotic coward who had somehow befriended the two. And a psychopathic prefect who seemed to like to beat everyone within an inch of their life.

I snorted. Like the prefect already wasn't bad enough. From what I knew of the strange sociopath, was that he was very very strong and very very short. It was a sudden death to anyone who brought up his height, and even I wasn't stupid enough to say anything about it.

I only hoped that he was busy enough with some other poor bloke and he wouldn't notice that I was late. Fat chance, but it was worth a try to at least hope, in my mind.

"Idiot Bull." The demon in disguise said, and I felt my left eye twitch slightly at the insult. Seriously, just because my name sounded like Taurus, and that happened to be my sign, doesn't mean I was actually a bull. Even if I really did act like one at times.

I grunted, not really in the mood to argue. "You have a science test in exactly two hours, correct?"

I didn't even bother questioning how he knew that.

"Yeah? so?" I raised an eyebrow. If it was some nonsensical crap about training...

A smile perched upon his chubby cheeks. Never a good sign. "I hope you studied well, because if you fail, you're going to run ten laps around the house, clean your room in five, and then cook dinner for your father when he returns home. All in one afternoon."

I stopped dead. "What? Why? That's my worst subject!" By now I was sure I was making a public spectacle out of myself by yelling at a baby, but I didn't care at the moment. The problem here was that Rogue was telling me to do the impossible; something that probably would never happen.

Science was, and forever would be my worst subject. Math came in a close second, and History received the consolation prize. I wasn't the smartest person ever, a fact backed up by my low average and clueless and lazy attitude when it came to learning and completing work.

"That's your problem," The baby shrugged. "you should put more effort into your schoolwork. Maybe then you wouldn't be the laughingstock of the ninth grade."

My face reddened slightly, both from anger and embarrassment. So what if other kids and I never got along? So what if I was the biggest loser and idiot of my grade and possibly the entire school? So what if my only friend happened to be a quiet bookworm I really only talked to during lunch?

I increased my speed, walking through the gates of the school easily. "Damn infant," I cursed. "can't you at least _try_ to go easy on me?" That's the least he could do after causing me bodily harm and multiple occasions and setting my bed on fire this morning.

I received a kick in the head as a response, sending me sprawling to the ground with a pained yelp. "Mafia bosses do not whine, ever." He said instead. "Do it again and I'll make it twenty laps and you'll have to clean your room blindfolded."

I groaned, and suddenly the will to get up left me. I really wasn't sure where this kid got this mafia crap, but I wasn't buying it. I mean seriously? Me, a mafia boss? Now that was more farfetched then passing a science test by a long shot.

He's probably trying to screw with my head again, and I'd be damned if I let him do it so easily.

I was just going to tell him this, when a pair of nicely cleaned black shoes stopped before my head. Well, shit. Just when my luck couldn't get any worst, the universe just had to go and completely crap on my day.

"School started ten minutes ago, idiot. Why are you late?" Came the monotonous drawl, and I pushed myself up to stare into the disapproving face of Namimori's most feared prefect Moyuko Zen.

It was official. The universe hated my guts for whatever reason. That was just _dandy._

**I don't like OC's. But this plot bunny wouldn't leave my head until I wrote it out. If people like it, I'll continue. If they set it on fire and watch it burn and then dance on the ashes for the OC, then I'll understand. But I like the Bovino family, and they aren't really shown in the series save for being mentioned, and Lambo. I like Lambo.**

***No offense to those from Germany.**

**"When in doubt, become a cow."****  
****-Unknown.**


End file.
